*The Road to the Cross*" is a series of thoughts for the Lent season. These convey some of my hopes, prayers, and even fears as we traverse this season and prepare for the celebration of Easter.
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Robert Oppenheimer
Dr. Oppenheimer uttered these words in response to the Atomic Bomb, which he helped create. He understood, perhaps better than anyone, the magnitude of the destruction that could now be wrought on the planet and on his fellow man. The gravity of that understanding must have weighed heavily on Dr. Oppenheimer, especially in the moments after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
"Now I am become death...."
AS I look up on my life and the course it is has taken over these past many years, I realize I am but a shadow of this statement.
I, of course, have not caused the destruction of cities, nor burned a building to the ground, nor killed a single human life....but I am still a force of destruction that has wrought its ugly head upon the world....my family and friends, churches I have served and people I have known. The truth is, no matter how much I want to deny it...that I am Vishnu, destroyer of worlds.
Oppenheimer did not start out to create a weapon to destroy cities and people. Rather, he wanted to harness the power of the Atom to help create energy in order to sustain life. Circumstances got rather out of his control and he saw his theories and his work used to destroy men and women and children. 
The power of destruction is a deadly force that is unleashed in many different ways. I have seen it done in the emotional abuse of a spouse, the manipulation of systems to gain a personal goal and a thousand other ways. I have done these and similar things to those closest to me. We do this enough and our lives...our relationships bear a great resemblance to the remains of Hiroshima. Our worlds crumble away from our hatred, lies, pride and lust to reveal a broken and shattered world beneath us that bears the scars of our actions and reminds us of what used to be.
The older I get, the more sensitive I become to the hurt I've caused. While I may not always show it on my face, the pain is real and it hides in my heart. I look down history's corridors and the people I've hurt and the destruction I've brought and I can only agree with the statement, "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds...."
This brings us to Lent...to the very heart of the season. Lent is the time of year when we reflect greatly on the destruction we have wrought in our own lives and in the lives of others. We acknowledge the pain, hurt, confusion, and brokenness of our lives and we turn to God in sackcloth and ashes.
In the midst of the ruin of our lives, we are surprised to see the Savior standing there. Jesus has that knack of showing up in the least expected places and some of our hearts are the least likely of all.
Think of the people Jesus decided to hang around in his life. Matthew...a tax collector....how much ruin did he bring to people's lives? Zaccheaus...another tax collector? The woman at the well...how many families did she ruin?
But the truth about Jesus is that he is life. John begins his Gospel by retelling the story of creation and we read, "in him was life, and the life was the light of men" (John 1:4). It is no accident that John begins his account with creation, because in a world full of death and destruction, God is about creation, recreation and life.
Jesus gives life to those who have none. He demonstrated this physically by waking people like Lazarus from the dead. "I am the resurrection and the life" Jesus tells in John 11:25. Jesus offers a second chance to sinners who do not deserve a second chance. In John's gospel again we read of a woman who was convicted of adultery. Instead of judging her, he saves her and offers her a new chance at life, a wonderful new start to a ruined life.
Jesus' ministry continues today as well. People who have ruined their lives, caused destruction in havoc through drugs, sex, lies, money and power are given a new lease in life--a new start.
The understanding at Lent is that we live in the darkness of the valley of the shadow of death. It's power is real and we feel it all around us. We cause it, we are complicit in it and we at times even desire and delight in it.
Today I acknowledge the pain and suffering I have caused in my life and in the lives of others. I say, fully, that "I AM VISHNU, DESTROYER OF ALL WORLDS"
But Jesus responds with loving kindness and says, "I am the creator of all things, and I give my light and my life to you.
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