Forgive and Forget?

Here is a tale of two ways.

The first way is described at the beginning of Dexter Filkin’s book The Forever War.  A group of people have come to witness a trial and sentencing of a murderer.  Under Islamic law, the accused could go free if the victim’s father will forgive the murderer.  While the accused’ s father begs for his sons life, the victim’s father is unmoved.  “I am not able to forgive him.”  With that, the sentence is handed out and the accused murder is beheaded.

On Oct 6, 2006 a horrific event happened in Nickel Mines, PA.  A lone gunman entered a one room Amish school house and shot 10 girls and killed five, the worse shooting in the town’s history. But what happened next amazed the world: the families of the girls who were shot came to the shooter’s house and forgave his family.  

This illustrates two ways: the way of justice and the way of forgiveness. This is not an indictment of one culture and praise of another, because justice and forgiveness belong to all cultures.  Rather, this reminds us of the important tension that exists in our world whenever tragedy happens and whenever bad things happen in our lives. 

This week we are reminded again of this tension and provided with a choice of which path we should take.  The bombings in Boston and the actions of Dr. Gosnell are just two examples of the horror that exists in our world.  In both events, innocent people were brutally murdered, lives were irrevocably changed and the world again tasted the horror that undergirds much of our daily existence.

Already the internet is cluttered with calls for these men’s blood.  These are echoes and reminders of calls to war from the recent past and throughout human history.  Can society heal

The question at the heart of this, is can we and should we practice forgiveness? Can we forgive the Boston Bombers for their actions that took the lives of three people and injured close to two hundred? Can we forgive Dr. Gosnell for the brutal murder of innocent children? Or on a closer level: can we forgive those that have wronged us today? Can we forgive our wives and our husbands for the things they do to us? Can we forgive bosses and co-workers for being insensitive? Can we live on the path of forgiveness?

To suggest that we should does not negate the justice question in anyway. The surviving Boston bomber must be put on trial and sentenced.  Dr. Gosnell must own up to his crimes.  Each of these must pay the consequences for their actions.  Forgiveness is not about ‘forgetting’ that a crime happened, or letting someone ‘off the hook,’ and to look the other way.  It is not about ignoring the consequences of behavior, but rather dealing with the consequences in a healthy and positive way.

While forgiveness may not be a uniquely Christian grace, it is a central one.  Forgiveness has played an important role in the Christian faith from the beginning. It may not have always been practiced as much as it should have been, but it is at the heart of the Christian life. 

Jesus taught the path of forgiveness.  In the heart of the Lord’s Prayer, we read, “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matt 6:12). When Peter asks how many times he should forgive someone, Jesus responds, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22). He reiterates to his disciples, “forgive and you will be forgiven.”  And most importantly of all, in the face of even his own death, Jesus not only taught the path of forgiveness, he lived it, for as he was being crucified, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34).

The Amish believe that forgiveness should be practiced as much as possible. They understand that their forgiveness is bound up with the forgiveness that we display to others.  They understand that if they do not forgive, God will not forgive them. While this may and does seem self-serving the other side of this is that if they truly forgive a person, then God will forgive that person as well (Matt 18:18).  In other words, they believe that there is a real correlation between the forgiveness we practice here on earth and the forgiveness that God grants in heaven. For an unbeliever, this may seem an inconsequential thing, but for believers, this is extremely significant. This is where we put our lives to the test and allow forgiveness to rule in our hearts.

If we do not allow ourselves to forgive, then unforgiveness and the sin of others will rule our lives.  When we forgive, we free ourselves from the sins of other people.

When we forgive someone, we acknowledge that there was a wrong done and hurt was the result.  With forgiveness, we restore the relationship we had, but in the light of the hurt.  We can’t pretend or ignore the events, but nor should we dwell on them. 

This may seem easy when the infractions are less serious, when a person has missed a date or misplaced some important information.  But what about when we are talking about serious offenses, like murder, terrorism and acts of violence.  Can we forgive then? Should we forgive then?

I am not directly related to either of these events, nor directly involved with the major tragedies of our day.  I do not, for a second, want to minimize or trivialize anybody’s pain.  I do not want to say that I have experienced similar things, because I haven’t.  I do not want to say that I can even imagine the level of suffering that has been present in people’s lives.  I do not want to gloss over their pain and their suffering. 

But at the same time, I have been the object and victim of cruel things.  I have been betrayed, I have been rejected, I have been abandoned.  I understand pain and the desire for revenge.  On the other hand, I have betrayed, I have rejected and I have abandoned, and I recognize the desire to be forgiven.  I stand as one who has betrayed God, abandoned God, forsaken God, and yet at the same time has been forgiven by God, welcomed by God, loved by God and accepted by God.

Christ calls us to forgive one another and the way of peace is the way of forgiveness. Imagine if we could, on an individual level, forgive those who have wronged us.  Imagine if we would heed the prayer that we pray every week and ‘forgive our debtors.’ Imagine what good could happen in this world if we could do this.    Imagine, if we could, as a country, and as a culture embrace the grace of forgiveness.

I am not a ‘pie in the sky’ idealist. Countries have interests to protect…namely their people.  And while the State must do what it needs to do, the people who make up the state can practice the art of forgiveness.

The work begins, as always, with us, with individuals. We must work to cultivate forgiveness in our lives.  When people wrong us, especially in the small and ordinary things in our lives, we must work to overcome our pride and forgive them. This leads us to be able to forgive people for bigger crimes against us.  Most of us will never deal with the events like the tragedies we have mentioned, but if we forgive for smaller things, we can work at forgiving the bigger ‘stuff.’

Forgiveness is a path that we can walk.  We might not be able or ready to forgive people for everything right away.  But with time, we can work at it and to forgive people as Christ as forgiven us. 

Making Sense Doesn't Make Sense

Tonight, as I write this, my heart…and the heart of the country…is heavy with the news of yet another senseless act of violence.  This time bombs went off in the city of Boston as residents celebrated the time honored tradition of running of the Boston Marathon. Three people, including an eight year old, are confirmed dead with many more injured.  The full extent of this event is only truly beginning to come to light and it may well be months before we know what triggered this event and who was responsible.

The internet is already beginning to respond.  From the vindictive “I hope they find whoever did this and make them pay,” to the conspiracy theories, “we all know this was done to please someone’s god….” The politicians lay in wait to see not only who they can blame, but how they can profit from this terrible crime.  People on the left, including Michael Moore, hope they can pin this on the Tea Party and warmongers on the right are hoping this can lead to renewed efforts in the War on Terror.

In the midst of this are people who are looking for answers.  How do we begin to understand this horrific event?  How do we explain the actions of those who are so consumed by hate that they must destroy life?  How can we believe in a God that would allow such horror?

When events like this happen, the pundits and the counselors await the verdict of America’s new high priests, dressed in their psychological vestments to explain away the horror we’ve seen.  We await the word on the Newtown shooter, Dr. Gosnell, the Aurora shooter to see what was wrong with them.  When the word comes down they suffered an illness, or that they were filled with anger, we are relieved.  There was something wrong with them and this alleviates our minds and the world makes sense once again.  Until the next time.

Christian theologians are also relieved when they can blame a mental disorder, or a unique situation, as it seemingly gets God ‘off the hook’ as it were.  We then ignore the larger and necessary questions of the presence of evil, the absence (or presence) of God, and the responsibility we all play in events like this.  In the days ahead we will hear rehashes of tired old Christian apologies for the presence of evil in the world.

We want so desperately for the world to make sense, to play by some rules.  We want clear cut dividers so that those who do right are rewarded and those who do wrong are punished.  We want to live in a world where we don’t have to explain to our children why an eight year old boy is dead tonight, or why a doctor could be allowed to butcher babies for thirty years, or why a man shot up an elementary school, or why…..well, just fill in the blank.

So we explain and we contort and we try to arrange the world in a way that makes sense.  And I think we need to stop.  I think God wants us to stop trying to make sense.

Think about it…the things we make ‘sense of’ are things we are no longer shocked by, things that no longer affect us, and things we no longer try to rectify.

We make “sense” of homelessness by understanding economic law. This gets us off the hook and we are not longer passionate about helping the poor.

We make “sense” of war and we are no longer bothered by the ethical ramifications of killing people.

We make “sense” of STD’s and sexual behavior so that sex loses the intimacy it was created for, only to become something to do to occupy an hour.

We make “sense” out of the cross by reading Pauline theology and we use big words like ‘substitutionary atonement’ to forget the horror of the cross and the suffering of Jesus.

When we make sense of a thing like Boston, or like Dr. Gosnell’s house of horrors we can retreat back into the fantasy of our world. We can pretend that the world we live in isn’t broken, that there isn’t something fundamentally wrong. 

But the reality is that our world IS broken.  There is a violent streak that runs within people that makes an event like Boston possible.  We may see tidbits of it every day in ourselves: greed, lust, selfishness, anger, and a whole host of evils.  We make ‘sense of them’ too and we explain them away, and say, “I’m only human….” or “I’ve had a long day,” or “It’s not like I’ve killed somebody…”

When we make sense of it, we grow comfortable with it…and that is the one thing we cannot  be.  God does not want us to be comfortable with it, or to make excuses of it, or to make sense of it.

Psalm 120 is one of my favorite Psalms and it is a Psalm that I turn to in moments like this.  It is written by a Jewish person, living in exile away from his home.  He is among a people whom he considers to be violent and is never at home with them.  We are told that he lives in Meshech, a place that he considers less than desirable, because the people who live there are violent and nasty.  This place is not his home and he knows it.  He is reminded of this on a daily basis and we can hear the lament in his words, “woe to me that I sojourn in Meshech.

 At the end of the psalm he writes of the great disparity that he has, “I am for peace….but they are for war” (v. 7).   The psalm leaves you hanging. There is no explanation of why these people are for war, and there is no ‘making sense’ of it.  Rather, you are left with a rather unsatisfactory ending.  You are left with the psalmist, yearning for peace and never at home with your neighbors.

There is no ‘pat’ answers when it comes to evil and suffering in this world.  Even our greatest theological constructions should cause us to reflect again on the world.  God does this on purpose, so that we don’t grow comfortable with the values of this world.

We live in a violent world, as today’s events have demonstrated.  We live in a world in which people are intent on hurting one another and profiting off of that hurt. We cannot allow ourselves to excuse this type of behavior or to grow comfortable with it.  As God’s people, we must strive to live out God’s virtues: to care for everybody, to be a beacon of nonviolence, and to offer people a true sanctity of human life.

We mourn these actions tonight because we know this is not how life is meant to be.  Tomorrow we begin to rebuild once again the broken pieces of this world in a never ending construction project.  Some of us may be tempted to give up and walk away.  Others will be fervent in trying to make sure the pieces never fall again.  Both attempts are wrong. We will strive as hard as we can, never growing comfortable, but knowing that God is with us to help us pick up the pieces once again. 

Too long we have all lived in Mescech…and today is a reminder of this.