How to De-Moralize Your Staff in 5 Easy Steps

Let’s face it, we’ve all had bad bosses.  We’ve had the well-meaning, but incompetent boss.  We’ve had the mini-dictators who think they are gods and we’ve probably had the burned out boss.  But there are a group of bosses that are…special.  These bosses are the reason we know that there is evil in the world.  These are bosses who excel in making the lives of other people so contemptuous, that they consider leaving the work force to go grow moss on a moss farm….or something.

These bosses are so colossally good at sucking, that I have to think that there is a training manual out there somewhere that makes these bosses study from.  Surely nobody can be this bad….surely!!!!

And yet here we are.  We know they exist because at some point we’ve had our soul sucked out by them.  Every day we go to work, we can hear a gigantic vacuum noise.  At first we thought it was the cleaning crew…but we know now it is the sound of our joy, energy, and creativity being syphoned off, one soulful morsel at a time.

So as I thought about this, I think I have observed, through induction, the Five steps these bosses use.  Let me know what you think.

Step # 1 Make everything…..EVERYTHING…about yourself

The peons who work for you are NOT….repeat…NOT important.  In fact, they just get in the way of what is truly important….YOU! Your career, your power, and your control are what is truly important about the office.  Sure you may have people who have career goals for themselves, but they DON’T MATTER!!!

One way to make sure to do this is to make sure that every conversation comes back to you.  That helps reinforce with people that you are truly the most important person in the room.  Observe:

                Steve: My family was in an accident over the weekend….

Bill: Ah! That reminds me, I’m going on vacation this weekend, can you cover my reports for me?

Did you see how Bill was able to save that conversation from the jaws of defeat? Steve was trying to talk about his family, which would have shifted attention from Bill.  But Bill was able to recover! (Not to mention the added bonus Steve gets by feeling important enough to do Bill’s work! – you DON’T always have to think about yourself!)

Another way to do this is that when you are introducing people, make sure to introduce them in relation to YOU!

                Bill: Have you met my assistant, Steve? Steve works for me in the office

That’s a clever way to (a) reaffirm your dominance over a lowly peon and (b) redirect attention back to you!

 

Step 2 – Schedule meetings, lots of meetings, with your staff

                Meetings are ways that you can keep your staff from doing anything important….or (more importantly) independently!

                The secret to this step is to make sure that the meetings have no point!  Have the meetings…and most importantly make sure that you control the content of the meeting.  Having meetings helps the peons feel important, but they don’t get to actually do the meeting. They get the pleasure of being with you (which may bring you down, but you do have to make some sacrifices – it’s not all lollipops and candy canes!)

                This will show you how to run meeting properly:

Bill: Thank you all for coming to my monthly meeting.  Before I begin, let me tell you about my weekend. I had such a goooooooooood weekend.  My wife and I had some buddies over and we played lawn darts.  The funny thing about lawn darts is that you have to have a particular kind of lawn dart…a professional lawn dart.  I got my lawn dart for $300 over Ebay.  The got wanted $400, but I was able to talk him down because I am such a good negotiator.  So I was able to beat everybody at lawn darts…

Notice Bill’s good use of language to reinforce himself as the center of attention. Those lucky employees get to hear about what a real weekend was like.

Step 3 – Make sure that ALL information gets channeled through YOU!

                This step is crucial and it is vitally important that you control all INGOING and OUTGOING information.  This helps from uppity peons thinking they are better than you and knowing more than you.

                The biggest threat here might be if you have a subordinate who has connections outside the office.  You need to cut this off in the bud RIGHT AWAY!

                This may require you to eliminate people from email distribution lists, to talk badly about somebody behind their backs, but this is essential to make sure you remain the center of attention. Make sure everybody CC’s you on every piece of outgoing email.  You probably won’t look it, but you will need to keep that psychological control. 

                The best way to distribute information to your staff is either by (a) enigmatic emails that nobody can decipher or (b) by dropping casual hints to the information in one of your many, many meetings (see above).

                Let’s say your security manager needs to get some background information on a contractor for a project your department is running.  Here is how you may want to disburse that information.

Bill: So Ocular Rift is going to be the biggest thing since sliced bread.  I know this because I was talking to the head of Cyberdyne Security about how much money I will be getting when Ocular Rift is released.  Oh by the way, Lou needs….um……some kind of form….for that guy you are working with…..make sure you get that to me, right away. So I was thinking about lawn darts again and how wonderful my new lawn dart is……

Good on you, Bill!!! You kept the focus on YOU and you also got that information out to your staff.  Of course, when they can’t figure out the information, you can yell at them….and then you can produce that information and SAVE THE DAY!!! Way to go, BILL! If it wasn’t for you, this place would surely burn to the ground!

Step 4 – Make sure Upper Management Knows how Good YOU are!

                This step really goes without saying, because upper management should already know how good you are…..after all….you’re YOU, right? But sometimes management gets lost in the details they have deal with on a day to day basis.

                Now, when you can save the day, make sure the Higher Ups know it! You need to promote yourself, after all! Those peons down below sure aren’t going to promote you, so you need to do this.  This might mean you need to throw a few people under the bus…but what the hell, they don’t matter. 

A simple way to do this is a memo to your supervisor, like this:

                To: Supervisor, Soul Crushing Enterprises

                From: Bill, Human Care Department

               

Sir, it came to my attention that I was able to save the company a great deal of money.  Steve, one of my employees, was badly mishandling security issues with his contractor from Satan Industries.  He was unable to produce the contractor authorization papers, even though I had pointedly and repeatedly asked him to do so.  So, after firing Steve, I took control of the situation and was able to produce the papers and able to reduce the wait time.  I am humbled by the opportunity I have to work at this company, which I consider my home.

Way to go, Bill! Look how many times he promoted himself and referred to himself as the center of attention.

Poor Steve had to go, but that helps accentuate

Step 5 – Replace your staff often

                Your staff is incompetent.  You know that.  They probably know that. But you need some people to supervise, otherwise how would others know you are important?

                But you are going to wear them…and they are going to wear YOU out very quickly.  So you need to get rid of them often and to have a complete turnover.  Make sure that the new crew doesn’t talk to the old crew because you don’t want them sharing the greatness you have earned over the hard course of your life!

someone may have already beat me to the punch

                Ways to get rid of your staff vary.  Some fire the people, some of the staff leaves every so often, and some love to work on a rotational basis.

                But when they leave, make sure they are discredited about anything they may say.  Some staff members are angry when they get fired or replaced and so may make up wild stories and attempt to sue for ‘harassment’ or ‘creating a hostile work environment.’  I don’t know why so many employees turn on their bosses when we get rid of them, but you have to make sure that everybody thinks they are crazier than Miley Cyrus hopped up on pixie dust.  A good way to do this is before they leave, refer them to see the building’s medical officer.

Bill: So, Steve, I am sorry that you are angry that you got fired.  However, that does not justify the fact that you claim I sabotaged your career.  I may remind you that you were the one who wasted time inquiring about Ocular Rift and my lawn darts.  Perhaps if you were not so tied up in recreation, you might have had a successful time here.  But because you are now threatening to ‘choke me out,’ I am highly suggesting that you see our doctor.  We have no ill will towards you and want to make sure you get all the help you need during this difficult time.

Of course, you will have to make sure that all future potential employers are aware of the mental problems.

**********

And that is how I think some managers learn to excel at sucking the life out of people.

Do I really want to be a Christian?

Lord, I want to be a Christian…in my heart

                Or so goes the old hymn.  Many of us who have gone to church know the song and we sing it with mild enthusiasm.  The idea behind the song is that we need God’s help in being a Christian, so that it permeates our very heart and soul.  There is just one big problem.

                Christians irk me.

                Not just a little, but a lot. 

                I mean A LOT!

                We can be bigoted and self righteous towards other people.  We can tolerate some sins, but absolutely not others.  We can be conceited and treat each other like dirt.  And we fight….about EVERYTHING.  Clothes, tattoos, tobacco, sex, worship styles, politics, theology, and about everything else we drag each other through the mud and we do it in the name of God. 

                I know this is nothing new.  This has been going on since the Church was established.  In fact, most of the New Testament is about Christians fighting each other.  Just about every other page is a new heresy or bad decision (usually by Peter) or about food sacrificed to idols.   It’s amazing that there never seems to be a period of agreement in the Church. 

                With all of the fighting that goes on and has gone on, we tend to forget the clear and central claim of the gospel that Jesus offers: “Follow me” (Mark 1:17).  In fact most of the gospels seem to be about expanding that call and discovering what it means for a disciple to come and follow Jesus.  This call seems to have dire consequences on the believer because Bonhoeffer writes, “when Christ calls a man, he bids him to come and die.” Bonhoeffer wrote his book Discipleship around the central issue of following Jesus.

                But can we really do this today? What does it mean to ‘Follow Jesus’? The disciples were lucky in this regard because they could literally follow Jesus from place to place.  We don’t have that luxury. 

                When I think about the call of Jesus, I certainly think it extends way beyond the paths of fighting about dogma and about deciding what side I am on concerning sexual orientation. I get the sense that Jesus is calling us to something higher, something more productive, something….bigger than our traditional squabbles. 

                Perhaps it’s time that all of us Christians look at ourselves and really begin to question what it means to follow Jesus.  Maybe the question is not do I want to become a Christian? But perhaps the question comes to be: what sort of Christian do I want to be?

                And for me the answer is, “I want to be a Christian that follows Jesus”.   What that means, however, has yet to be fully explored.

The Problem of Olaf

By now, unless you have been living in a cave, you must have seen all or part of Disney’s megahit puberty-analogy Frozen.  If you haven’t seen it…you probably know all the songs…by heart.  If you have any connection with kids, you know the adventures of Anna and Elsa, Kristoff, Hans and Sven.  And while they all have their interesting quirks, I need to talk about the major problem of Frozen:

                Olaf.

                Olaf is a snowman who comes to life magically (we are not told exactly how this happens, but just go with it) and helps the protagonists solve the problem of ‘eternal witness.’   We will bypass the problem of whether Olaf is actually alive, because even he is unsure:

                Elsa: Olaf? Are you alive?

                Olaf: I….think so!

                We will just assume that he is alive and proceed from there.  But other problems become evident within a few seconds of meeting Olaf.  The heroes Anna, Kristoff, and Sven (the reindeer) are looking for Elsa and they are wandering through a magic winter wonderland, when all of a sudden they hear the voice of Olaf the snowman.  After some funny shenanigans, Kristoff and Anna tell Olaf that they are trying to bring back summer.  Notice then what Olaf says:

                Olaf: Oh, I don't know why, but I've always loved the idea of summer, and sun, and all things hot...

                Did you notice the word ‘always…’  Exactly how old is Olaf? According to the timeline of the movie, he is maybe a day old, but more than likely he is under 24 hours old.  So….when exactly did he think about summer? How does he even know about summer? How could he have ‘always’ thought about something that he has never experienced and really never knew about.  Where did he get the idea of summer? Did he meet other people and they told him? Or did he read a book (but he would have had to find the book…)  We have a couple of options to solve this.

                The first would be to believe in a preexistent Olaf.  We know from the movie’s prologue that Anna and Elsa used to make Olaf the snowman when it snowed.  So maybe his consciousness was stored in that snowman and he learned back then.  The idea would be then that he would melt back into the snow only to be reawakened the next time it snowed and the next time Anna and Elsa built a snowman.  His life would then be a horrible cycle of being built and melting over and over again.  Of course there were about the 15 years that went passed when Anna and Elsa did NOT build a snowman.  What was Olaf doing then? Was he trapped in limbo? Did he know what was going on? Can you imagine the horror of our poor snowbound friend as he waited and waited to be come alive in snowman form, but nobody actually built a snowman? That actually helps create more drama for the song Do you want to build a snowman?  We can imagine our poor Olaf silently screaming out ‘Yes’ in horror and desperation as he watched Elsa ignore Anna’s pleas to build a snowman.

Help! I'm trapped in eternal pain! 

                But the idea of a pre-existant Olaf seems to be discounted by the film’s ends.  In one of the last scenes, Olaf is about to melt when he says:

                Olaf: Hands down, this is the best day of my life.  And quite possibly the last.

                Olaf is aware that he is dying (and even though he laughs at it, we can see that some sort of finality there). So, he is expecting then to die and go away…so he has no recollection of being in limbo, so maybe that’s not the answer.

                The second suggestion would be that Olaf isn’t really alive at all.  After all, we still have Olaf’s uncertainty about the question.  We also have his acknowledgement that he has no real active biology.

                Olaf: I don’t have a skull.  Or bones.

                So how then can Olaf know things (like how to sing or dance, knowing about knocking, or knowing about love).  How does he do this?

                I think if we go down this route, we have to see Olaf as a projection of Elsa’s unconscious self.  After all, Elsa is the one who makes Olaf come ‘alive’ and she is the one who continues his existence at the end of the movie.  Perhaps, Olaf represents a more innocent part of Elsa’s mind, one that that finds joy in the simplest things.  We know that Elsa can sing…because the entire movie is about the song Let it Go, although she technically never dances in the film (she pawns the old guy off on Anna).  So maybe Olaf is simply the projection of Elsa’s inner self.  This would explain Olaf’s sudden desire for Anna and Kristoff and Sven to share summer with them (Olaf: and you guys will be there too).  Why would he want Anna there? Maybe Elsa is using Olaf to reach out to her sister…..

             

Olaf is frozen.....just like my heart! 

   But this doesn’t explain the need to keep Olaf around at the end of the movie.  Elsa could have just made him go away as she came the realization that she loved her sister and could be emotionally reunited with her.

                So maybe….just maybe….we need to go with the third explanation.

               

  Olaf is really the villain of the movie.

                This explanation requires the same preexistent Olaf, but sees his apparent non-knowledge of this as a deliberate deception in order to maintain his existence.

                We know that Olaf is around in the beginning.  Elsa manifests a snow that looks exactly like Olaf. When Elsa gets angry later on the film, she sets the entire kingdom into a perpetual frozen snow and ice kingdom. 

                Who exactly benefits the most from this?

                OLAF! 

If the kingdom is in perpetual snow, then he is the only one who is perfectly adapted to the weather.  While everyone else will freeze, Olaf can walk around unabated and is the only one who can really rule the kingdom.  Besides, if this was truly Olaf’s plan from the beginning, this helps make perfect sense of:

                -Olaf’s reluctance to tell Anna where Elsa was (Olaf: Yeah, why?)

                - His disobedience as he bursts in on Anna and Elsa’s conversation

                - His desire to get Anna away from the trolls before they can help her (Olaf: why aren’t you running?)

                - His interference with Anna and Kristoff (Olaf: I guess Kristoff doesn’t love you enough to leave you behind)  In this understanding, that last line can only be read as a devious plot on Olaf’s part to keep Anna and Christof apart so they can’t kiss and make summer come back (he assumes, like most of us that the act of true love was the true love’s kiss).

 Behold the face of horror!!! 

                And so you see…there is a problem when it comes to Olaf and his existence.  No matter how you cut it…Disney has some ‘splaining to do.

The Preciousness of Life

Tonight I sat in a little Italian restaurant in Saratoga Springs, NY thinking about life and death and the things that are most precious to us.

                I am truly convinced that the most precious gift we have in life is the gift of our families, of our loved ones and our friends.  God lets us view his love for us through the people who love us and whom we love.  Sometimes they aren’t the nicest, or happiest, or best people.  Sometimes they hurt us and sometimes we hurt them.  Sometimes we take them for granted and sometimes they take us for granted.  Sometimes we don’t realize the very special moments we have when we have them and sometimes we can treasure up those moments forever.

                Nowhere is this more true than when we lose someone close to us.  Nothing can replace a person when we can no longer look at them, no longer hold them, or touch them, or hear them, or be annoyed by them.  It is in those moments when we realize the magnitude of our loss and the enormity of our isolation.

                The beautiful things about people is that no one’s relationship is quite the same and no one can experience the same person in exactly the same way.  Think of a mother when she holds her baby the first time.  That baby is going to grow up, make friends, laugh, jump, play, get a job, drive a car and all sorts of wonderful things.  But the mother who is there moments after that baby came into the world has a unique experience of that person that nobody else can lay claim to.  When we think of the special people in our lives, what do we think of? Who do we think of?

                There are so many special memories I have.  I remember one day when I was a pastor, and it was raining and there was a loud crack of thunder and my oldest daughter leapt in my arms.  It was the first time I felt truly needed by my daughter.  I remember the way my other daughter laughs when she thinks she is being funny.  I remember the way my mom used to make pretend that Gingerbread cookies had voices and cried out in pain when we ate them (yes…that explains a great deal about me).  I remember my wedding day with all of the nervousness and excitement that was going on in those moments. 

                I wonder what people remember about me sometimes.  Do people just remember the way I irritated them or the funny things I do? Do people remember that I tried to sing and dance my way through the Pajama Game? Do people remember the times I loved them, the times I hated them? Do people remember my anger, my frustration, my nerdiness?

                As I write this, I am preparing to help a family say good bye to their son.   I never met their son and so I do not have any memories to share.  But I think about their loss and I cannot comprehend what it must be like to say good bye to a person you gave birth to.  Or a son that you nurtured and loved.  Do you think about their tiny feet and the way they smiled and laughed? Do you think about the way they broke the furniture or made you so mad that you didn’t know what to say or to do?

                Sartre was famous for saying that “hell is other people,” as if all you needed was contained within yourself and other people merely served to distract you from that.  I think just the opposite, I think that heaven is other people.  Because as we love and experience love, we can truly see the face of God. 

                Enjoy the people you are with, because you won’t have them forever.  Treasure each moment, each memory, each special time you have…this day and every day.

Aliens in a Strange Land

No issue divides the political landscape in our country today as much as the issues at the US-Mexican border, where thousands upon thousands of people have crossed the US Border from Mexico.  President Obama has initiated the creation of ‘camps’ to house the people and has asked the US Congress for billions of dollars to deal with this issue.  The opposition by Congressional Republicans has stressed that these people have broken US law and are here illegally and pose a threat to national security.  Recently, the Governor of Texas Rick Perry has raised the National Guard with the idea of taking them to the border in order to ‘secure the border.’

Much like the Border itself, this issue brings to the forefront the issues that divide this country.  Our choice of words has become politicized and your allegiance is based on what descriptors are used.  Are the people “illegal aliens,” “undocumented workers,” “migrants,” “family,” or “law breakers.”  The questions people are asking are as divisive as any in recent past.  Should these people be given amnesty and be allowed to stay here? Should they be returned to their country of origin…or is this even possible? Should they be arrested? Shot? The identity of these people is up for debate as well.  Are they children streaming in from South America? Are they convicts?

How do we respond to an issue like this?

Pope Francis identified one possible response earlier when he pleaded that the people be treated with respect and be given the basics for survival.  He has a point that should not be lost especially on the Churches of this nation.  Jesus stressed the need to take care of the poor and the outcast and the hungry and the thirsty.

Michael Savage of the radio show The Savage Nation decried these statements and represents the other side of this spectrum.  He argued that we should be concerned first and foremost for our “culture, language and borders,” and he views these recent incursions as a threat to our country. In response to this crisis, many people on this side of the spectrum want to build walls and fences and guards and defend the country at all costs.

Perhaps most people are somewhere in the middle of these positions, wanting to help the immigrants, but at the same time wanting to secure the borders and to send the people home. 

For me, this issue is personal because I have spent some time at the border trying to understand.  One of the most bizarre moments I’ve had in life was standing in a colonia outside Juarez, Mexico.  This neighborhood was made up of houses that were constructed with old pallets, cardboard, scrap metal and whatever else could be used to give shelter.  Extension cords ran across the dusty and unpaved ground as people tapped into whatever power source they could to have power.  Children were sometimes left locked in these houses while their parents walked miles to get into the city to work.  The amazing part was that just a few miles away, within sight was the luxurious American side.  Houses with swimming pools and air conditioning and abundant food and two cars in the driveway.  Their kids went to day care or school and didn’t have to wonder what was going to happen day after day.  Having seen that and experienced this, I understand everybody’s desire to escape and to get into our country.

I remember one night in Neuvo Laredo, seeing the people gather at the town square, wanting to make their move and take their chance to get to our side of the border.  If they could just get there, they would reason, they could have enough to eat.  They tasted opportunity and they wanted it.  Most would be caught and sent across the border where they would wait for their second chance.  Others would risk a more dangerous border crossing, relying on coyotes to get them across.  Some would face death to get across…and I understand that.

The United States has always been about immigration.  The border with Mexico was not closed until the 20^th century.  Most of our ancestors came here one way or another…most ‘legally’ but many ‘illegally.’   We came for the same reasons these people want to come, they want freedom and opportunity and chances to provide for their families.  Or others want to come to escape poverty.  Others want to come to practice criminality, just as it has always been.

But one of the people I know at the border has been waiting for his chance to become an American citizen. His daughters are American citizens and he has been training to be an ophthalmologist for several years.  As he explained the process to become an American citizen, I thought he was joking.  No matter where you live in Mexico, you have to make it Juarez to apply for citizenship.   Some people use all their money just to make it to Juarez.  Then they attempt the crossing and if caught, they are forever banned from the legal process. This process to become a legal resident of the United States can average between 7 to 10 years.  When I met this individual, he had just had his first interview, which took him two years to wait for (and if you miss the meeting, that’s it). But this individual and many like him are committed to the process.  They want to do things write and they strive to keep things above board.

Is giving people who crossed legally amnesty fair to individuals like my friend? What about the millions of legal residents who have gone through the process to become a citizen and have spent years of their lives waiting for this moment? Where they come into play when it comes to these questions?

I admit that I, like our country, am very torn on this issue.

As a Christian, I am told to welcome the sojourner and to give aid and comfort to those in need.  I stress the need to do that here in this case.  We have to provide food, water, shelter.  I am told by my religion that this should be done with hospitality and not with grumbling.  We should not just be giving the ‘bear minimum’ but welcoming them with true hospitality.  My religion tells me not to worry so much about my country because I belong to a bigger kingdom, the kingdom of God and that maybe moments like this are just moments in which God is at work, redistributing the world.

As an American, I have deep concerns.  First and foremost is security.  Can we keep our country safe from the threat of terrorism if we do not ‘secure the border’? How can we keep tabs of all the people coming into the country? What about our economy? In an already sluggish and slow performing economy, can we afford to take in more people who need jobs?

Are their good answers to these questions? I’m sure there are.  But in order for us to reach them, both sides have to acknowledge the concerns of the other.  We have to realize that we are in a new world, a different world, a new epoch where answers don’t get divided neatly into one party or the other.  We have to realize that we are the aliens in this new world and ask ourselves how we want to be treated.

The Choice

Jeremiah 28:9-14

          Politics and religion don’t mix.  Well, they don’t mix well.  Well, they sometimes have to mix.  Well, perhaps it is more correct to say that they need each other, even though they both adversely affect each other.  Today politics and religion are so intermixed with each other that it we may not know where one stops and the other one begins.  But these messages may pull us in different directions.  We may be confused by all the conflicting messages around and all the people who claim ‘God’ is on ‘their’ side.

          God’s and Generals where two soldiers stare at each other across the river.  One is a Confederate and one is a Union soldier.  They look at each other and you begin to notice the marked similarities between them.  Here are two men who were raised in pretty much the same American culture.  They both (probably) prayed to the same God and they both read the same Bible.  One was so adamant that God supported the practice of slavery that he was willing to put his life on the line.  The other was so adamant that God opposed the practice of slavery that he was willing to put his life on the line.  And God, for His part, remained silent on the whole question and let the people fight among it down here on earth.

  There is a powerful moment in the movie

            This passage is very similar to this picture.  We have two prophets whose worldviews and prophesies collide here.  Earlier in the chapter Hanaiah preaches a good word to the congregation along the following lines:

“Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: qI have broken the yoke of the king of Babylon. 3 rWithin stwo years I will bring back to this place all the vessels of the Lord's house, which Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon took away from this place and carried to Babylon. 4 I will also bring back to this place tJeconiah the son of Jehoiakim, king of Judah, and all the exiles from Judah who went to Babylon, declares the Lord, qfor I will break the yoke of the king of Babylon.”

Now we have to take a break here to remind ourselves what is happening in this whole situation.  The world of politics and superpowers has caught up to the people of Israel.  Babylon was the sole superpower of the day, they controlled pretty much the entire world and they were coming Israel’s way.  Zedekiah, the king of Judah was faced with a decision: submit to Babylon and live in relative peace or resist and rebel and get crushed in the process. 

            We have romanticized the notion of resistance especially in movies like 300.  If you remember that movie (and if you are really good you remember that it is based in Herodutus) where the envoy of the Persian Empire comes to King Leonidias in Sparta and demands the Spartan loyalty.  Of course, Leonidias rejects him and says, “THIS IS SPARTA!” Part of us wants to be like that guy.  But of course Leonidias and his Spartans died in the rebellion against Persia.  This is not to say that we should not rebel, but that we need to know when to rebel. 

            So Zedekiah is faced with this same choice.  This choice is made more difficult by the fact that you have different prophets going around saying different things.  Some, like Jeremiah, are saying that you need to submit that God is bringing the Babylonians into power.  Others, like Hananiah say that God would never forsake his people and his covenant and so it is necessary to rebel for the sake of holiness. 

            We know what this tension is like.  We live in a divided time in our country.  We have faced the greatest economic downturn in the last 80 years.  The country is divided into two factions and there are essentially two party lines drawn on the issues.  Which one is right? Which one should you commit to? You cannot commit to both? Where is God in this issue? How would you rule if you were Zedekiah? How would you rule if you in charge today?

            You could not necessarily label one of these prophets good or bad, given the context of the day.  Walter Brueggemann suggests “it maybe more correct to see the conflicting political advice given by the two prophets as rooted in conflicting visions of God and God’s plans.”[1]

            Hananiah stresses the faith in God’s covenant with his people.  God will not forsake the people of Israel because He established his covenant with them.  Therefore, they should not worry about things like the giant super power who is coming to invade their country.  God is with them and God has promised that he will establish the people of Israel into a powerful kingdom. 

            We see this type of theology everywhere today.  This is an early version of prosperity gospel or a version of victory in Jesus, where the focus is on the good news that God has promised, not anything that might be difficult.  Sometimes, we are told to sit and be faithful and wait for all the good things that God will deliver to us.  We should not let obstacles get in our way, because God can overcome them and they can not stand in our way.  We are told that if we do not receive good things, then it must be something that is defective in our faith or that we have ‘hidden sin’ in our lives that we must confess before the good stuff can come flowing our way.

            Over against this, we see Jeremiah’s response.  It might be tempting to see his initial reaction as sarcastic, and it might be so, but I am not necessarily convinced that this the case.   He might have truly wished that things would work out the way that Hananiah presented.  After all, who wouldn’t want things to go this way? The problem was that things were not going to have a happy ending.  Things were going to be bad. 

            In the previous chapter, Jeremiah had been preaching to Zedekiah: “Bring your necks under the yoke of the king of Babylon, and serve him and his people and live” (Jeremiah 27:12).  He announced that it was God (YHWH) who was raising up Nebuchadnezzar to be the ruler of the earth and so to stand in his way would be to stand in the way of God. Jeremiah had been preaching to the people that they needed to repent and be right with God, but the people have not listened.  Now as a consequence, they too will come under the yoke of the king of Babylon. 

            This message as not going over well…and frankly why would it?

            If people today had a choice between what message they would listen to, which one do you think they would?   Imagine if you had a preacher who was preaching that God wanted you to be ‘healthy, wealthy, and wise?’  All you had to do was to trust in God and you could get all the riches you wanted and all the possessions you wanted and all the victory that you wanted.  On the other side you had a preacher who was preaching that God was going to send you into a time of poverty, destitution and desperation.  Which one do you think would become more popular? Well isn’t that what we see when we look out at the modern world?

            None of us want to hear that God’s message for us is defeat, sorrow, or suffering.  WE all try to avoid these things and we say that “God love us and has a wonderful plan for us.” To hear that God’s plan is going to mean for us to give up our dreams, our hopes and our lives destroys us.  It is no wonder that Jeremiah was threatened with death just about everywhere he went.

            When I was younger, I used to believe that God had great plans for me and that ministry was going to be spectacular.  I would preach and people would come to listen to me.  But lately I have had to accept the Jeremiah message that I am not meant for greatness…or even mediocrity.  I am meant for obscurity, exile and to live life at the edge.  To accept this has come at a great cost emotionally, but I think it has deepened me spiritually.  When we have to give up the very core of what our beliefs have been, we must grow to accept a new set of beliefs and to redefine who we are in light of who God is

.

            In this passage, God is calling Israel, His chosen people, to a life in Exile, to a life confined to the edges of society where they will not be important nor influential nor cared about.  They will be ignored, stepped on, beat down and destroyed.  (This is of course the experience of the vast majority…some of them have different experiences, such as Daniel or Esther).  Who wants that?  

            We do not always understand God’s ways in this life…and maybe we don’t in the other world as well.  God never promised that our lives would turn out the way that we wanted them to.  Nor did He say that we would be completely without struggle and without difficulty in our lives.  In fact he never promised that he has a wonderful plan for our lives. 

            Jesus warned about this in the gospels.  In fact, the disciples weren’t even assured that they would have a place to live.  “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head” (Mathew 8:20).  In fact, Jesus’ followers were told that they were to be kicked out of the synagogues (John 16:1) and people will turn against them (Matt 5:11) and they will generally not be places of great importance in the world.  But what is important in the Gospels is the same lesson that was important for the people of Jeremiah: that God will be with them, and no matter what happens, they need to trust in the Lord.

            At the end of Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus knows he is going to send his disciples out into the world.  They are going like serpents out into the world, but need to be as gentle as doves.  They are going out to a hostile environment.  The very last thing that Jesus says to His people is “I am with you always…to the end of the age.” (Matt 28:20). 

            Jeremiah promises the same thing to the people of Israel.  Even though God is sending them into the Exile, even though God is relegating them to the edges of society and bringing many of their dreams to an end, he is not forsaking the people.  In the very next chapter we read the most famous verse from Jeremiah, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). 

            What is it that God might be calling you to? Might God be calling you to an experience that you would rather not go through? Is God calling you to a desert life, one that is not in keeping with your wishes and desires? 

            I think that of the Church as a whole that is where we are heading. Our doctrines and our values are under constant scrunity and we pushed more and more every day to the edge of society.  We no longer enjoy the privilege we may have at one point in our history and that is hard for many of us to accept.  Whereas church leaders in the past were looked up to and respected, so now we are scorned and ridiculed.  To join the church is almost to put yourself in exile from the dominant culture of the day and to sacrifice much of what can be enjoyed in this world.

            But what about personally? Individually? Are you hearing a message from God that might be difficult for you to accept? Would you rather, like Hananiah, accept the message that everything will be fine and that life is filled with days of endless wonder for you?   Or would you rather hear the message of Jeremiah that God is calling you to a more difficult life?

            This might mean giving up a dream of being a world changer and settling for something less.  This might mean sacrificing the place you want to live at for a different and more ‘dull’ existence.  This might mean not having the career you once dreamed of, but rather working in a job that pays the bills. 

            This is not an easy message, and it was never meant to be.  Remember that God goes with you into whatever the future holds.  But this passage reminds us to listen dutifully and diligently for God’s voice, even if we do not want to hear it.

---

[1] Feasting on the Word Year A vol 3 Loc 5788

Are you Somebody?

Nuala O’Faolin recently wrote a book whose title, Are you Somebody?, says it all.  She takes it from a question she was asked one day.  In her account of her life, she attempts to answer the question…maybe not the answer the person who asked the question was looking for, but an answer nonetheless.

            Are you somebody?

            Isn’t that a question that we are asked…and we ask ourselves…a thousand times a day.  The question may be asked in terms of “are you somebody important?”  Or maybe the person wants to know, “are you somebody I know…or I should know.”  Perhaps underlying all of this is the unspoken assumption, “are you somebody I should care about?”

            Are you somebody?

            How would you answer that question about yourself?  Are YOU somebody?  Perhaps it might depend on what you meant by ‘somebody’.  I mean, aren’t we all somebody? We all have our own personality, our own interests, our own quirks and our own habits.  Maybe you might say, “well, I’m somebody to some people” I have a family that loves me…and if they don’t love me they at least acknowledge that I belong to them. But am I somebody important? Am I somebody valuable? Well now we are getting into dangerous waters indeed.

            Are you somebody?

            Our Gospel lesson today introduces us to somebody who might have been asking this very same question.  In John 4, we meet this unnamed ‘Samaritan Woman’ who epitomizes the question we have been asking.  And even though we don’t get to know much about this woman, we find out what it means to be somebody through her eyes.

            It seems like an ordinary day.  Jesus has been out preaching and he is thirsty and tired.  He sits by a well in a small town in Samaria while the disciples go off and do…disciple things.  As Jesus is sitting there, this woman comes up to him.

            This woman…this unnamed woman coming at the well at noon.  Not in the morning, when everybody else would come to the well.  At noon.  So she wouldn’t be noticed by other people.  So she could avoid the other women in the town.  So she could be alone.  As she comes to the well, Jesus begins to talk to her.

            Are you somebody? Ok…not the question he asks.  Rather he asks with the benign request for a drink of water. 

            She responds, “How is it you a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (4:9).  She responds, “Are you somebody?”  She is confused because it was a social custom that Jews and Samaritans would be kept separate from each other.[1]  Not only this, but this is a man asking something from a woman.  There is a high wall of social norms, laws and regulations that are being overcome and it understandably makes the woman uncomfortable. 

            The best part of this story comes with Jesus’ response to this.  If you knew the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you, ‘give me a drink’… What a great statement.  Essentially Jesus is saying “Well I actually AM somebody…in fact I AM” but then goes on to bring the conversation back to her again.  “I could give you ‘living water’.” 

            The story then takes another turn when Jesus tells her to go get her husband and come back to talk to him.

            Then comes the truth.

            I have no husband.

            Jesus replies, “You are right in saying that you have no husband. In fact, you have had five husbands and the man you are living with now is not your husband.”

            Five husbands.  That’s a lot.  But it is also the reason why the woman is out at noon by herself.

            No matter what the reasons are for having five husbands, the fact of the matter is that in a small town like Sychar, having five husbands meant you were somebody.  You were that woman ( you can feel free to fill in what ‘that’ meant).  You were that woman that five men couldn’t stand so they left you.  You were that woman who was cursed by God and had her husbands die on her. You were that woman that you couldn’t even make the current guy marry you.   

You were somebody…but you were really nobody.  You were nobody that anybody wanted to be around.  You were nobody that anybody cared about. You were nobody that anybody wanted to see.

You were alone in the world and you can imagine what this felt like. 

She might have felt that she had been cursed by God.  She might have felt unclean because of her current circumstances.  She definitely felt alone.

Cursed.  Unclean.  Alone.

The nature of her five (failed?) marriages doesn’t really matter.  What really matters is how she felt.  Ostracized by her community, forsaken in love, abandoned by everyone and everything important.  It is no wonder that when given the opportunity to talk to Jesus, she talks about an old theological dispute.  Something that’s not personal, not about her.  Something that’s safe.

Cursed.  Unclean.  Alone. 

I bet that we have all felt like this at some point in our lives.  One of the memories I have of growing up was being called a “waste of air”.  But so many people have had to endure so much more.

I think of Anna, who grew up hated by her father only to marry a man who cared even less for her.

I think of Dan who gave his life over to drugs at an early age, kicked out by his family and lived his life on the streets.

I think of Mildred, the elderly woman that nobody wanted to visit and nobody wanted to listen to her pain.

Cursed.  Unclean.  Alone.

When we find ourselves like this.  We may ask ourselves, “Am I somebody?”  And the answer comes back in our heads and nestles in our hearts, “I am nobody worth listening to, I am nobody worth being with; I am nobody worthy loving.”  “Am I somebody?”  “NO” the answer echoes in the stillness of our rooms with only ourselves to hear it.

But when we consider this story, a different answer must be given. 

At its’ heart, this story is about the man who did pay attention, who did listen, who did care.

At this point in John’s Gospel, the reader knows fully well who Jesus is.  In fact, we cannot avoid this fact.  John’s Gospel begins, “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was With God and the Word was God”.  John makes it pretty clear that Jesus is the Word, that Jesus is God.  “All things that were created were created through him.”  Jesus is God, He is the creator of the universe, of all that was and is and will ever be.

Reimagine this story.  Here is a woman, a broken, lonely woman going to the well one day.  Who does she meet? I AM.  The Beginning and the End the Alpha and the Omega, the CREATOR of the universe and all that is. 

This God became flesh, became man, and sat at the well with this woman.  He took an interest in her.  He offered her ‘living water’, everlasting life and life with hope.  He offered her a future where the God of the Universe loved her and took an interest in her.  In Her! 

This may not seem like a lot…but it is EVERYTHING.  It doesn’t matter what the other people in town are saying.  It doesn’t matter that life hasn’t worked out according to plan.  It doesn’t matter that our hearts are broken (it does, but hear me out).  What matters is that the GOD of the Universe, the one who holds worlds in the palm of His hands, is uniquely interested in YOU.  He wants to hear from YOU.  He wants to know what is going on in your life.  He wants to know your pain.  He wants to know your joy, he wants to know your life.

Are you somebody?

Yes, yes you are.  You are somebody of great importance to the great God of the Universe.  You are His beloved child.

You are somebody, and of slightly greater importance is that He is somebody.  He is God Incarnate.  He is the Christ.  He is the one who offers you living water to drink, both now and forevermore.

---

[1] Jewish people of Judea (southern Israel) considered themselves to be ‘pureblood’ while the Jews of Samaria (Northern Israel) were descendands from mixed races.